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Books for adult siblings

Non-fiction

Brother. Do. You. Love. Me
By Manni Coe and Reuben Coe (2024); Canongate

Sunday Times Bestseller. Waterstones non-fiction book of the month, March 2024. Shortlisted for Book of the Year at the British Book Awards.

“Reuben, aged 38, was living in a home for adults with learning disabilities and struggling to accept that he had Down’s syndrome. Depressed and in a fog of anti-depressants, he hadn’t spoken for over a year. Increasingly isolated, cut off from everyone and everything he loved, Reuben sent a text message: ‘brother. do. you. love. me.’ When Manni received this desperate message from his youngest brother, he knew everything had to change. Together they began an extraordinary journey of repair, rediscovering the depths of their brotherhood, one gradual step at a time.” – Canongate

 

The Year of the Cat: A Love Story
By Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett (2023); Tinder Press

“When Rhiannon fell in love with, and eventually married her flatmate, she imagined they might one day move on. But this is London in the age of generation rent, and so they share their home with a succession of friends and strangers while saving for a life less makeshift. The desire for a baby is never far from the surface, but can she be sure that she will ever be free of the anxiety she has experienced since an attack in the street one night? And after a childhood spent caring for her autistic brother does she really want to devote herself to motherhood?” – Tinder Press

 

Siblings: Brothers and sisters of children with disability
By Kate Strohm (2014); Wakefield Press
Earlier version also available: Being the Other One: Growing Up with a Brother or Sister Who Has Special Needs’ by Kate Strohm (2005); Shambhala Publications Inc.

“Siblings tells what it is like to grow up with a brother or sister with a disability or illness. The siblings of children with a disability are often the overlooked ones in families struggling to cope. Kate Strohm, a sibling herself, bravely shares the story of her journey from isolation and confusion to greater understanding and acceptance. She provides a forum for other siblings to describe their challenges and provides them with strategies to make sense of their experiences.” – Wakefield Press

Read our sibling review.

 

Riding the Bus with My Sister: A True Life Journey
By Rachel Simon (2013); Grand Central Publishing

“Rachel Simon’s sister Beth is a spirited woman who lives intensely and often joyfully. Beth, who has an intellectual disability, spends her days riding the buses in her unnamed Pennsylvania city. The drivers, a lively group, are her mentors; her fellow passengers are her community. One day, Beth asks Rachel to accompany her on the buses for an entire year. This wise, funny, deeply affecting true story is the chronicle of that remarkable time. Rachel, a writer and college teacher whose hyperbusy life camouflaged her emotional isolation, had much to learn in her sister’s extraordinary world.” – Hachette Book Group

 

The Music Room
By William Fiennes (2009); Picador

Costa Book Awards shortlist 2009.

“William Fiennes’ childhood was one of imagination and curiosity, bounded only by the horizon he saw from the roof-tiles of his ancient family home. His older brother Richard, known for his towering presence, his inventiveness, his great passion for Leeds United, and his suffering due to severe epilepsy, was an adored and charismatic figure in his life. Years later, eager to understand his brother’s mind as fully as the ancient trees and secret haunts of his own journey towards adulthood, William Fiennes has written a profoundly moving account of his home, his family’s care, and above all, of Richard. The Music Room is a luminous testament to the miracle of consciousness and to the permanence of love.” – Picador

Please note: Includes descriptions of violence.

 

The Sound of Turquoise
By Gill Gregory (2009); KUPress

“Gregory creates a space through The Sound of Turquoise to explore her childhood memories, of the relationship with her disabled brother Andrew and her Grandfather Alexis. She uses Meg, the protagonist, to enable her to revisit her experiences which perhaps were too painful to address directly. In doing so, it gives the story a slightly fictional less biographical feel.” – Read more in our sibling review.

 

Boy Alone: A Brother’s Memoir
By Karl Taro Greenfield (2009); Harper

“In this literary tour de force, Karl Taro Greenfield, the acclaimed journalist and author of China Syndrome, tells the story of his life growing up with his brother, chronicling the hopes, dreams, and realities of life with an autistic sibling” – Harper

 

Special Siblings: Growing Up with Someone with a Disability
By Mary McHugh (2003); Brookes Publishing Co

“McHugh, a freelance writer and editor, weaves together her memories of life with her [learning disabled] brother with reflections, research, and interviews with other siblings of those with disabilities.” – Abe Books

Please note: The author uses the ‘R’ word to describe ‘learning disability’ in this book. The term is not used maliciously. We still recommend this book, as many siblings relate to the content.

 

The Ride Together: A Brother and Sister’s Memoir of Autism in the Family
By Paul Karasik & Judy Karasik (2003); James Bennett Pty Ltd

“A sister and brother of an autistic man describe in words and cartoon illustrations the story of their sibling’s life.” – Abe Books

 

Hamlet’s Dresser: A Memoir
By Bob Smith (2003); Simon and Schuster

“The true story of a boy whose life was saved by literature, Hamlet’s Dresser is a portrait of a person made whole by art. Bob Smith’s childhood was a fragile and lonely one, spent largely caring for his [disabled] sister, Carolyn. But at age ten, his local librarian gave him a copy of Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice, and it transformed him.” – Abe Books

Please note: The author uses the ‘H’ word to describe ‘disability’ in this book. The term is not used maliciously. We still recommend this book, as many siblings relate to the content.

 

What About Me?: Growing Up with a Developmentally Disabled Sibling
By Bryna Siegel & Stuart Silverstein (2001); Da Capo Press

“A compassionate and accessible guide on living with and caring for a developmentally disabled sibling.” – Da Capo Press

 

Fiction
A Little Life
By Hanya Yanagihara (2022); Picador

Winner of Fiction of the Year at the British Book Awards. Shortlisted for the Booker Prize. Shortlisted for the Women’s Prize. Finalist for the US National Book Award for Fiction.

“In her 2015 novel A Little Life, American author Hanya Yanagihara tells, rather beautifully, of a sibling relationship between Willem and the late Hemming. Their Icelandic father and Danish mother emigrated to the US from Sweden and raised the boys in Wyoming, Hemming, who died as a young adult, was severely disabled and pre-verbal. Writing from Willem’s point of view, Yanagihara describes Hemming with tenderness, and conveys Willem’s deep love for his brother. The episode only takes up a couple of pages in a 750-page novel but it made an impression on me. Yanagihara notably focusses exclusively on Willem’s feelings, treating them as a separate entity unconnected to the parental relationship with the disabled child. A Little Life was a huge bestseller on both sides of the Atlantic, and was turned into a West End play.” – review by Sara, adult sibling

 

Summer Brother
By Jaap Robben, translated from the Dutch by David Doherty (2021); World Editions

Longlisted for the 2021 International Booker Prize. Winner of the 2022 Vondel Translation Prize (UK). 

“Thirteen-year-old Brian lives in a trailer on a forgotten patch of land with his divorced and uncaring father. His older brother lucien, physically and mentally disabled, has been institutionalized for years. While Lucien’s home is undergoing renovations, he is sent to live with his father and young brother for the summer. Their detached father leaves Brian to care for Lucien’s special needs. But how do you look after someone when you don’t know what they need? How do you make the right choices when you still have so much to discover?” – World Editions

Read our sibling review.

 

My Sister’s Keeper
By Jodi Picoult (2018); Hodder

“In all thirteen years of Anna’s life, her parents have never given her a choice: she was born to be her sister Kate’s bone marrow donor and she has always given Kate everything she needs. But when Anna is told Kate needs a new kidney, she begins to question how much she should be prepared to do to save the older sibling she has always been defined by. So Anna makes a decision that will change their family forever – perhaps even fatally for the sister she loves.” – Hodder

 

Goodbye Tsugumi
By Banana Yoshimoto (2002); Faber & Faber

“Maria, the narrator, explores her cousin Tsugumi’s relationship with the rest of her family and the wider community. Tsugumi has a lifelong debilitating physical illness and the two cousins have been bought up as siblings, making this book feel so relatable. The frustrations of challenging behaviour, the constant worry of relapses and the different perspective a disabled sibling gives you are all explored in this novel. I felt that Yoko, Tsugumi’s older sister, mirrored many characteristics that I see in myself too and it was empowering to see her character’s strength celebrated. Yoshimoto’s softly nostalgic tone made it feel like a friend chatting to me in cafe about experiences which feel entirely relatable. I recommend this book if you want an easy-going, heart-warming read that finally makes you feel heard.” – review by Freya, adult sibling

 

Sleepovers (2008) and The Best Sleepover in the World (2023)
By Jacqueline Wilson; Young Corgi

Whilst these books are aimed at 7-10 year olds, we’ve included them here as many adult siblings will still relate to the content from their childhood. The main character Daisy, has a physically disabled sister, Lily, who uses Makaton to communicate. Read our sibling review.

Many adult siblings find it helpful to read children’s books, as it can help to ‘fill the gap’ of something they didn’t have (but would liked to have had) as a child. Take a look at our children’s booklist here.

Are you an adult sibling? Have you read a great book recently that other siblings need to know about? We’d love to post your book review! Email info@sibs.org.uk

Would you like to help other siblings by sharing your own story? Please get in touch.