Growing up I have had the privilege of having an extremely supportive family for the most part. My mother has always been my rock. However, this isn’t to say it was always easy. I subconsciously felt less than my sibling growing up and often felt responsible for him in situations my immediate family was not around. My relationship with my brother in the early stages resembled more like a motherly role even though we are only one year a part – in fact, he is one year older than me.
My brother has Down’s syndrome which growing up was a talked about subject in school and it wasn’t always positive. I remember in my biology lessons absolutely dreading the day we learned about genetics, as it would usually go on to mention about Down’s syndrome and the extra chromosome they have. Some questions come from genuine curiosity, however some were hurtful in a way that I could never explain to anyone that hasn’t got a sibling like me. Don’t get me wrong, I would never change my brother. I think he’s taught me everything I know about kindness, patience and love. He’s truly my best friend.
I have been so lucky to have the opportunity to move out and go to university – it has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I have the opportunity to become 100% myself in a place that doesn’t refer me as my sibling’s sister. During this time, I was finally diagnosed with ADHD and Dyslexia, which makes a whole lot of sense to me. Had I not had my brother in my life and my parents had more of an opportunity to focus on me and my needs, perhaps I would’ve been diagnosed earlier.
I found myself suppressing my own needs so that I wouldn’t be another burden to my family and this eventually made me very unhappy. I want anyone reading this in the same position to know that two things can be true at the same time: loving your sibling just how they are whilst also acknowledging the hard parts about growing up with a sibling with special educational needs.
If anyone reading this has any questions or wants to talk please message me on Instagram @fromasisterspov where I also continue to share my experience. Always remember, you are a special sibling!