Counselling and therapeutic support
Sometimes, siblings of a brother or sister who is disabled, neurodivergent or has a long-term health condition need extra emotional support too. They may benefit from having someone outside the family to talk to – someone who can listen without judgement and give them space to explore their own feelings, worries and experiences.
There are different ways to find support, including through your child’s school, your GP or a private therapist. The best option will depend on your child’s age, needs, preferences and what is available in your local area.
It’s also important to remember that siblings may have their own, sometimes unrecognised, developmental or emotional needs. Some may be neurodivergent themselves without having received a diagnosis. This can be particularly relevant for girls and young people assigned female at birth, whose differences and support needs may be less easily recognised.
Children also express themselves in different ways. Some may enjoy talking about their feelings and setting their own goals, while others may find it easier to communicate through play, art, music or drama. Finding a counselling approach that feels comfortable and meaningful to your child can make a real difference.
Talk to your child’s school
- Your child’s school can be a good place to start. Ask to speak to the Special Educational Needs Coordinator (SENCO), pastoral team or a trusted member of staff about the emotional wellbeing support available.
- Some schools offer counselling, mentoring or opportunities for children to talk regularly with a trusted adult. Others may be able to suggest local services or make referrals.
- It can help to share a little about your family’s circumstances so that staff understand what your child may be experiencing at home.
- Ask whether the school can offer your child a safe, neutral space where they can talk about their own feelings, worries and needs. It’s important that siblings feel recognised as individuals, rather than only in relation to their disabled or neurodivergent brother or sister.
Ask your GP about local support
- Your GP can help you explore what emotional or therapeutic support may be available locally.
- When making an appointment, explain what your child has been experiencing, how it is affecting their everyday life and why you feel some extra support could help.
- You can ask about counselling, local children’s mental health services and whether a referral might be appropriate. Access to services and waiting times vary across the UK, and some services also accept referrals directly from families or schools.
- Involve your child in these conversations. Ask what they would like help with, how they feel about speaking to someone and what kind of support they might prefer.
- You can also ask your GP for advice on how to introduce the idea of counselling or therapy in a positive, reassuring way, so that your child understands it is a space for them, rather than something they are being asked to do because there is a problem.
- If you think your child may have their own unrecognised neurodevelopmental needs, you can also discuss these with your GP and ask about appropriate assessment and support.
Finding private counselling or therapy
If you are considering private counselling or therapy, it can help to look for someone who has experience of working with children and young people, particularly those growing up alongside a disabled or neurodivergent sibling.
Different therapists offer different approaches, including talking therapies, play therapy, art therapy, music therapy and dramatherapy. The most suitable approach will depend on your child’s age, interests and individual needs.
- Affinity Hub has a directory of counsellors and therapists with experience of supporting families with a disabled child, including families of children with neurodevelopmental conditions such as autism. Some practitioners also work directly with siblings and young people.
- Resource: Therapy & Counselling – Affinity Hub
When choosing a private therapist, check that they have appropriate qualifications, experience of working with children and young people, and professional registration where relevant.
Helping your child feel involved
Whatever route you choose, try to make your child part of the process. Explain that counselling or therapy is not about fixing them or expecting them to feel differently about their family.
It’s an opportunity to have some time and space that belongs to them, where their feelings, experiences and needs matter.
Some children will welcome this straight away. Others may feel unsure or need time before they are ready. Listening to their preferences, answering their questions and giving them some choice can help them feel more comfortable and in control.