Listen to this honest and moving BBC Radio 2 programme featuring adult sibling Hannah, who grew up as a young carer for her sister Sally, who is autistic and has ADHD and OCD.
Listen on BBC Sounds (free account required). Hannah’s interview begins at 48 minutes 40 seconds and lasts around 22 minutes.
Hannah reflects on the realities of her caring role, sharing both the challenges and the deep bond she has with her sister. She also talks about her passion for cycling, which became an important outlet and source of identity throughout her life. When an accident meant she could no longer cycle, Hannah faced the challenge of rediscovering who she was beyond both sport and caring, finding new ways to define herself outside of her caregiving role.
As part of BBC Two’s 21st Century Folk project, Sally nominated Hannah to receive a song written especially for her by folk singer Katherine Priddy. Hannah explains: “The theme was sport, and for me it was how cycling has been an important part of my life, helping me to cope with the pressures of being a sibling carer from a young age and growing up as a young carer […] sport became my way of being seen as my own person rather than just Sally’s sister.”
Sally shares the profound impact Hannah’s support has had on her life, from their earliest years together. When Sally was eight and Hannah was just six, Hannah would comfort and reassure her whenever she felt anxious about their parents leaving the house. As teenagers, Sally’s conditions affected her ability to manage personal care, and Hannah helped her with tasks such as washing, dressing and drying her hair. Later, when Sally began to venture outside again after a period of being unable to leave the house, Hannah became her advocate and protector. Sally recalls: “People would stare or ask questions and she would stand in front of me. She was a bit like my bodyguard!”
Sibs Patron Jo Whiley reflects on this experience in the episode, saying: “There’s a protective nature to being a sibling. They’re your brother, they’re your sister, you want to look after them, you want to defend them from anyone else out there who might be doing them harm.”
We spoke to Hannah about the experience and she shared:
“Being a part of this project has been such a special experience. It meant so much to me that my sister thought of nominating me.
The song that Katherine has written is incredible. The words made me feel “seen” as my own person, and it felt like Katherine understood Me; both of which are things that I have not really experienced before.
For years I have lived my life for my sister and family, making all my decisions based on what others need, and I have felt lost as to who I am without this. But listening to this song helped me to see that I can be Hannah, and I don’t have to be defined by being a sister or a cyclist or any pressures I put on myself. Instead, I can continually build my own identity and not be defined by just one thing or my responsibilities.
I have always struggled to talk about my feelings or share about myself, and so it has been challenging for me to share so much with so many people throughout this project, and at times it has felt overwhelming and brought up some uncomfortable emotions. However, I hope that by speaking honestly about my experience of being a Sib, it will help other people who are in similar situations to feel heard, seen and understood. Being a Sib is a unique and complex experience and I have often felt alone and like no one could understand. But this is why the Sibs charity is so important, because it helps us know we are not going through this alone!
I am definitely still on my way to discovering who I truly am away from my role as a Sib, and I still face challenges each day. But being a part of this project and getting to meet Jo Whiley too, is a moment in my life that I will always look back on and treasure forever and I am so thankful to everyone who has helped make this possible!”
Listen on BBC Sounds (free account required). Hannah’s interview begins at 48 minutes 40 seconds and lasts around 22 minutes.