The difficulties facing families of disabled children can often mean that it is extremely difficult to have other children back to your home. You may be too tired to deal with the noise and mess of other children being around; your disabled/neurodivergent child may not tolerate the disruption that it entails; or you may simply not get the opportunity to meet other families at school and therefore not be able to make the arrangements.
However, there are huge benefits for siblings in having friends come to their home:
- They have someone to play with as it can be lonely sometimes as a sibling
- They can build up a stronger friendship with the extra time together – this gives them a shared experience beyond school
- Their friends can get to know their brother or sister and this can help siblings feel that other people will accept their brother or sister as they are
- If friends enjoy coming to your house it can help siblings feel better about their home and family
- If friends never come round at primary school it can be very hard for siblings to feel comfortable about this when they get older
Things that will help
- Get to know the parents of your child’s (sibling) friends
- The first time a child comes round have something planned for them to do together as they may be used to things being very structured in school
- Ask siblings how they would like to spend this time with their friend
- Introduce friends to the other children in your family
- Have a clear explanation of your disabled child’s condition ready if the friend ask why he or she does something
- Keep the visit short so that the time is enjoyable and manageable for everyone
- If needed, involve someone else who can provide time or care for your disabled child
- Allow your sibling child to have time that’s just with their friend. However, if your sibling child really wants their disabled brother/sister to join in, show them how to do this in a way that everyone enjoys