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Ethan's story

Ethan’s story

I think having your brother or sister go into hospital makes siblings like me feel lots of feelings. I definitely feel quiet and I worry.
I went with my brother to the hospital really early on the morning of his operation. And then my dad took me to school. My dad and mum had told my school that my brother would be having an operation under general anaesthetic. He has a brain condition too and learning difficulties and stuff. This all makes it harder for him and I think it makes it much harder to watch him go through what he goes through. I don’t like seeing what he goes through and I felt strange leaving him at the hospital. But because my brother is different to my friends brothers and sisters. Well that can make it hard to talk about, unless I am helped to.
No-one at school said anything to me on the day of my brother’s operation. My dad phoned the school when my brother was in the recovery room to get a message to me that my brother had had the operation and he was ok – I was told that at lunchtime. That was a relief. When I saw him after school he was still really tired and he was being very sick too. I was able later to help him to eat a bit of a sandwich from lunchtime. He couldn’t hold anything. He looked white. Actually he looked a bit grey/green to me.
I sometimes get frustrated that my parents are talking a lot of the time about my brother, well that’s how it feels. And I get pretty angry with him, it feels selfish to me how he is but my mum and dad say that’s the things he lives with. Its hard to think that he’s not doing things on purpose. And I think my mum must be really tired because my brother finds it really hard to sleep and stuff too and that’s without an operation. I do feel sad for my brother when I see him like this and going through this. I feel a bit guilty too that I have never had an operation when he has had quite a lot of operations and that’s on top of all of his other challenges.
My dad stayed with me at home in the evenings. We had things like chips and chicken nuggets with no salad! My mum left a photo for me with a heart. And some treats. She sent me a photo when she was at the hospital. It was of a picture of a polar bear with her cub, and it said underneath,  Mama loves you.
On the day my brother came home from  hospital I gave him a toffee that my friend at school had given me. I saved it for him.’
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