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Managing money

This guide includes:

  • If your brother or sister can’t manage their day-to-day spending, who can?
  • Do you need permission from the court to manage money? (includes a guide to power of attorney, deputyship, guardianship and controllership on pages 4-7)
  • What financial support and discounts are available?

And much more.

Click here to download

Savings, wills and trusts

This guide includes:

  • When your brother or sister can’t manage a large amount of money, who can?
  • Can you leave a house in your will for someone to live in?
  • What happens if money isn’t in a trust fund?

And much more.

Click here to download


Decision-making and the law: When your brother or sister can’t make a decision, who does?

Mental capacity laws affect the way services are provided for your brother or sister and the way professionals carry out decision-making. This is a hugely important issue to have knowledge about as an adult sibling of someone with a learning disability and/or autism. Being next of kin by itself does not give you any legal rights as a sibling. This is also the case for your parents. We recommend that you take time to read our guide on mental capacity so that you feel empowered to be involved in the decision-making processes about your brother or sister’s finances, living situation, friendships, health and wellbeing.
Download Sibs – Guide for adult siblings on decision-making and mental capacity – March 2018


When your disabled brother or sister needs support: How to get a care needs assessment

If your brother or sister needs care and support because of their lifelong disability, then the local authority (or health and social care trust in Northern Ireland) has a duty to carry out an assessment. Contact the adult social care department where your brother or sister lives and request an assessment. Some local authorities may not provide support if they feel that the need is already being met by a family carer. At the time of assessment, be clear about what you can and cannot do for your brother or sister – it is your choice whether to be involved or not in their care. Use this guide to help you prepare for an assessment and to understand what the process involves. This guide assumes that your disabled brother or sister is over the age of 18 as the assessment process is different for people under the age of 18.
Download Sibs – Guide for adult siblings on getting a care needs assessment – Jul 2023


Coping with managing your disabled brother or sister’s care

Many siblings are doing care tasks for their brother or sister who has a learning disability and/or autism, such as liaising with adult social care, attending meetings and appointments, managing finances or providing day to day hands-on care. It can be difficult to balance being a carer with having your own life. Guilt, resentment, exhaustion and burnout are common experiences for sibling carers and we want to help you avoid these. Sibling carers are up against an inadequate health and social care system, and meet frequent challenges co-ordinating their brother or sister’s support – such as inconsistent staff at residential homes, difficulty finding personal assistants and a lack of input from adult social care. If you are an adult sibling carer who is experiencing this – you are not alone. Read our guide on coping as a carer and managing care packages to get advice with these issues today.
Sibs – Guide for adult siblings on coping as a carer and managing care packages – Nov 2018


What to do if your disabled brother or sister doesn’t receive the care that they should

Unfortunately, many siblings tell us that their brother or sister with a learning disability and/or autism has experienced discrimination, has received poor care or has been mistreated. Siblings can feel ignored by service providers who don’t recognise the sibling role, and who dismiss a sibling’s concerns. Siblings often feel upset or guilty themselves, at having seen their brother or sister experience substandard treatment. Read our guide on making a complaint to feel more informed and empowered when raising an issue about your disabled brother or sister’s care.
Download Sibs – Guide for adult siblings on making a complaint – March 2018


The impact of behaviours that challenge on you: When your disabled brother or sister’s behaviour is harmful or aggressive

As a sibling of someone with a lifelong disability you may have experienced behaviours that challenge from your brother or sister. You may have experienced this growing up with your brother or sister, and may have had little support or information at the time. You may be struggling with understanding your brother or sister’s behaviour as an adult and may be wondering what steps you can take to help your brother or sister with this. Read our guide on behaviours that challenge to help you to understand why behaviours that challenge occurs, recognise how it impacts on you as a sibling and address how you can support yourself and your disabled brother or sister.
Download Sibs – Guide for adult siblings on impact of behaviours that challenge – Aug 2023


Thinking about the future

Questions about the future are some of the most common we receive at Sibs. You might be wondering how to talk to your parent/s about your disabled brother or sister’s future care. You might be thinking about your own future too – decisions like moving out of the family home or having your own children. It can feel overwhelming to think about these things however you may experience ongoing worry if you don’t set aside time to think about them.  As well as reading our guides on practical topics like wills and trusts, make sure you read this guide on thinking about the future as it will help you to make decisions about the things that matter to you.
Download Sibs – Guide for adult siblings on thinking about the future – Nov 2018


Talking to your parents about common sibling issues

We receive many enquiries from adult siblings about talking to parents about sibling issues. You might want to discuss your brother or sister’s future care, suggest changes in routine or set boundaries around the time you spend caring. These issues can be difficult to talk about but when they are neglected they can weigh on your mind. Don’t let your worries go unheard – read our guide on talking to your parents and get started today.
Download Sibs guide for adult siblings on communicating with your parents – Nov 2018