In many families there are times when it seems like a child has more faults than good qualities. Parents sometimes feel this about their sibling child when they are demanding of attention, not willing to co-operate or when they argue with their disabled or neurodiverse brother/sister.
Feeling irritated and criticizing tends make you feel less connected with your child. An antidote to this is to express appreciation and fondness for your child even when they are hard work to be with.
Try this:
- Write down a list of the things you really love about your child – these can be current things or things when they were younger. Just thinking about things that have been good about your child can make you feel closer to them.
- Talk to your partner, friend or parent about the things you like about your child. By sharing this with someone else you will be hearing things that they like about your child too.
- Tell your child what you like about them now or look at some old photos or videos together and talk about those special things they did as a young child. This leaves your child feeling cherished and is likely to bring your feelings of affection out again. It’s also a great way to give a sibling some one-to-one attention.