Siblings and caring
What is care?
Siblings make a huge contribution to the direct care of their disabled brothers and sisters. Many of these would routinely be provided in most families by an older sibling for a younger non-disabled one, but only during the early years. For siblings of disabled children, care tasks such as these will be undertaken all the way through childhood and younger siblings may support their older disabled brothers and sisters.
These are some of the types of care activities that siblings undertake.
- Having to play games at a much younger level
- Minding in the street or park
- Watching for a few minutes while mum/dad gets the tea ready/runs the bath
- Going in the bath with an older sibling to ensure their safety e.g. from epileptic seizures
- Giving medication
- Providing the disabled child with reassurance at the doctor’s or at the hospital which may be may be more readily accepted than from a parent.
- Escorting to and from school
- Reading stories
- Getting up in the night to help turn over or to reassure
- Ensuring the disabled child is safe at home and when out
- Answering the door or phone because the parent can’t leave the disabled child
- Doing extra household chores to allow the parent to care for the disabled child
- Going to films at the cinema which are aimed at a younger age-group
- Teaching basic practical skills such as using a spoon, drying hands, catching a ball
- Teaching socially acceptable behaviour with friends
- Helping the disabled child to become calm after being upset or angry
- Looking out for the disabled child at school
- Protecting the disabled child from bullying at school
- Missing out on social events because of being needed at home
- Teaching friends e.g. to help to care and to involve the disabled child in activities
- Interpreting the disabled child’s communication for teachers and friends
- Helping to lift a disabled child
- Assisting with therapy at home
- Looking after other brothers and sisters whilst parents care for the disabled child
- Sometimes the care is for the parent. Many siblings support parents emotionally when they are depressed or feeling that they cannot cope.
Young carers
Many siblings are young carers. Many families would not be able to cope if a sibling was not doing a significant amount of care. Young carers are children and young people under 18 who are providing regular personal care and support to another family member – the amount of care is significant and they have a level of responsibility that is not appropriate for their age. The care can include physical care, emotional care, or making sure someone is safe. The impact of taking on an inappropriate caring role can include social isolation, underachievement or absenteeism at school, mental or physical ill health, and poverty. Young carers are entitled to an assessment of their needs and to get help with caring. For relevant guidelines on assessing and supporting young carers see http://www.youngcarers.net/professionals
Support for sibling young carers
Most local authorities have a young carers’ project and about a third of the children and young people who attend these projects are sibling young carers. The projects give young carers a break away from caring, and provide them with information and emotional support. Some young carers projects run specific sibling groups. To find the nearest young carers project visit http://www.youngcarer.com/showPage.php?file=projects.htm
