Parents

As a parent you may find there are times when you need a bit of extra information and help with parenting siblings. Use these pages to get information and tips on supporting siblings, and to get advice on dealing with sibling issues.

Why it’s important to tell siblings

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It helps siblings understand why things are different with their brother or sister.  For example, a sibling can understand that their brother or sister gets more attention from a parent because they need more help, and not because the parent loves the disabled child more.

It helps improve the relationship between siblings and their disabled brothers and sisters.  For example, a sibling whose brother or sister has difficultly with playing, can understand that this is because of the disability, and not because their brother or sister doesn’t like them.

If parents don’t tell siblings about the diagnosis the effect on siblings is usually worse than telling them. They may hear things from others or read things on the internet which may not be correct.  They may make up their own version of what is happening, which may be worse than the reality. When they find out that you have kept the diagnosis from them, they may feel angry and mistrustful of you.

How to tell siblings about the disability

Start early. Tell your sibling child at the time of diagnosis. Answer questions as they come up. Be open and honest; this helps your sibling child to trust you. Keep siblings up to date if things change. They will also need more detailed information as they get older.
 
With young siblings make a scrapbook about your family that includes information about the condition.
 
Use story books about disabled children and their siblings in order to talk about it together.
 
Make a body picture with school age children to help you find out what they already know and in order to teach them new information
 
With older children use the internet together to find good websites that have information about their brother or sister’s condition.
 
Make a question box to put on top of the fridge where siblings can write down any question they have about the disability. If you are not sure about the answer, let siblings know you will ask at the next appointment with the doctor or consultant.