Adult siblings can worry about a whole host of things such as the future, being able to cope with care tasks, genetic issues, their parent’s health, and the well being of their disabled brother or sister. Worry may also have become a habitual way of thinking for some people.
If we think of worry as a call to take action, this can help us to deal with it, rather than be overwhelmed by it. Many people find that all their worries merge into one large impossible mass of worry. Here are some ideas to help you deal with worries.
Put your worries into categories so you know which ones you can take action on
1. Write all your worries down – make a big list of them
2. Put each worry into one of the following categories
- Things that are never going to happen or are very unlikely to happen – for example, a meteorite falling on your house, thinking that you will get the same condition as your brother or sister
- Things you don’t like but you cannot change and other people cannot change either like the weather, your brother or sister’s disability, your own parent getting older
- Things that can be sorted out by other people or organisations – for example, asking a psychologist to check on your brother or sister’s mental health, getting your parent to go for a check up
- Things that you can sort out for yourself, things that you can take personal action on, for example, making a phone call to a professional, making a visit to a day centre to see what it is like
3. With the things you can do nothing about, simply acknowledge that fact and let yourself know that there is nothing you can do about them, and therefore no point in worrying about them.
4. Take action on the other things. Start with the easiest one first and write down when you will take action on the other worries and what you plan to do. Taking any action at all will help alleviate the worry.
Other things that help with worry:
- Distraction – for example listening to music you enjoy
- Exercise – for example, going for a walk or run
- Focus – start thinking about things that are pleasant for you, for example, thinking about a holiday you have enjoyed
- Keeping your mind occupied – for example, getting involved in a hobby
- Sharing the worry – talking to other people who understand the issues
- When worry takes over and you feel anxious most of the time, it is important that you seek external help in the form of counselling or cognitive behavior therapy. Ask your GP to help you with this.
