What to do in a session
Ground rules
These should be formulated in the initial session. Ground rules clarify the values of the group, acceptable behaviours and any sanctions that will be imposed if the rules are broken. The rules should be signed by all workers and members of the group and pinned to the wall during every session.
It is worth spending time discussing the rules but do not spend too much time or the siblings will lose interest – fifteen minutes should be long enough. If the values of the group are understood and agreed from the start it is unlikely that there will be any regular breaches. If there are, siblings are likely to monitor each other and join in discussions about their behaviour. Group workers can also cite the rules if siblings may be starting to breach the rules and ‘nip in the bud’ any undesirable behaviours.
Taking a sibling to one side and expressing concern for their well being is more effective than imposing sanctions for undesirable behaviours.
Keep the rules simple and few and explain in language that the children understand.
With older groups they may like to set their own. Try to make them positive e.g. “Treat with respect” rather than “No kicking”
We suggest these themes:
- Safety rules for the venue
- Behaviour
- Confidentiality
- Child protection statement
- All have an equal voice
- Respect for others
Name games
Introduction activities for the initial two sessions are essential. Siblings are often referred to as someone’s brother or sister so make sure that everyone learns each others names.
Workers demonstrate that they are listening to siblings by remembering names and using them regularly. Similarly relationships between siblings will develop quicker as they learn names and explore common interests. Some people have excellent memories for names and faces; however the majority of us need help. The games are helpful to siblings and workers as they impose cues to aid everyone’s memory. Who could forget ‘Nice Nadine who hates nuts’ or ‘Cool Kevin who loves curry’? Name tags or badges made in the initial session could also be brought out in the second and third sessions as reminders.
Warm up activities (ice breakers)
These are a way to integrate siblings back into the group after a break. Siblings may arrive at the sessions with an array of good and bad experiences on their mind. A few minutes playing a game or doing a craft activity at the start of the session helps them to focus on being in the group again, away from the stresses of home, friends and school.
Welcomes
Group welcome discussions are often held after a warm up game. Siblings and workers sit in a large circle and take turns to say something about how they are feeling at the time, mentioning anything of significance that has happened to them since everyone last met. Siblings will be familiar with taking part in ‘circle time’ at school.
Some siblings love this activity as it gives them the chance to talk about themselves to an interested audience. Others may initially choose not to speak or whisper their comments to a worker to voice on their behalf. The quieter siblings generally become more vocal as the sessions progress.
Introductions may need focusing by workers to enable everyone to have an equal say without people talking over them. A colourful egg timer can help to time everyone or siblings may ‘pass the beanbag’ and only the person holding it can talk.
Crafts
These are often popular as many siblings have limited opportunities for craft at home, either because it is hard for the parent to spend time doing it with them or because the disabled brother or sister interrupts or damages it. Many craft activities are ideal to use at the beginning of a session as it is easy for siblings to join in as they arrive. Others can be used to support the specific theme of a session – some of these are included in the Activities Sections.
Keep a selection of craft materials at hand for siblings who like to be creative. You will need: Plain paper, coloured paper, card, scissors, pencils, felt tip pens, wax or pencil crayons, paints, decorating stuff (feathers/ sequins/ glitter/ stickers), glue, staplers, sellotape, pipe cleaners ...
For general craft suggestions, see the Woodcraft site at www.redfelineninja.dsl.pipex.com/woodcraft/craft_x3/craft_x3.html
Games
A goal of siblings groups is for those attending to have fun. Playing games together encourages siblings to enjoy themselves but they also serve lots of important functions in the running of a group.
Some functions of games: develop friendships; encourage team work; generate energy when siblings have been sitting for some time; burn off energy; teach turn taking; help siblings to follow rules; develop imagination; provide escapism; improve coordination; change the atmosphere when siblings have been talking about difficult feelings or times; allow risk taking; mark the start or end of a session; and provide a group ritual. The list goes on!
Every group is different. Some groups love to play the same game over and over again in each session; others love to learn new games. Some siblings like to introduce their favourite games and develop their own.
If workers feel that they do not know many games they only need to ask the sibling group for ideas and they will soon be overwhelmed by the choice. Do not be frightened that you do not properly know how to play the game, give it a go and be prepared to be advised by the siblings taking part. Workers often develop their own favourite games to play in groups, and many were introduced to them originally by siblings. There are also lots of games books available, see the reading list for more details.
There are lots of examples of games here, try them out, develop them and let Sibs know what works.
Food
This is a must for your group. Siblings really like eating! And the timing of your session may mean that they will not get a meal otherwise. Keep it healthy, but to their taste. Teaching healthy eating is not a primary aim of the group but siblings may enjoy trying food e.g. fruits that they would not usually encounter (Remember to check for food allergies).
Some younger groups may need to be firmly seated for this! Others may enjoy sitting on a blanket or other informal style. Siblings often love this time as they can have informal chats and develop their friendships. Others like a break to use their mobile phones that workers have asked them to keep in their pockets during other activities! It is also a time for workers to catch up individually with siblings.
Discussion activities
These are a central part of every session. Being a sibling is the common theme that unites the members who are often very different in other ways. Siblings may be able to access social activities away from the group e.g. attend guides or youth clubs.
However sibling groups are the only group where they are able to openly discuss with other siblings and knowledgeable workers, their experiences of being a sibling.
Some siblings actually stop attending their social clubs where there is a clash with a sibling group such are the benefits of attending a siblings group.
There are a number of discussion activities on this website. They have been tried and tested by sibling groups nationally and internationally and are proven to encourage discussions. Some activities are based on art, some on drama, and some on play. None are boring!
Sibs recommends including at least one in every session and the session plans have two discussion activities. Workers more used to running social activities sometimes worry that they do not have expertise in running discussion activities. That is why there is more specific guidance around these activities. The activities have also been written in detail and themed to enable ease of use by workers.
If you have any concerns or queries or feedback about the activities please contact the Sibs Sibling Group Development Officers.
Evaluation activities
Evaluation activities are not just for the final sessions, they can be spread through the weeks. Completing individual evaluation sheets (such as the target sheet) in early sessions allows siblings the chance to think about what they wish to achieve in the group. Returning to them in later sessions demonstrates how far they have progressed and highlights any outstanding needs.
Group evaluation games and activities enable workers to assess what has worked and what has not in the group.
All of the evaluation information can be written up by group leaders to form an overall report of the group, the achievements and the challenges for future groups.
Goodbyes
Make sure the group finishes on a positive note – probably one or two lively games. Siblings are preparing to go home and they need time to move on from the discussions in the group, just as they needed time at the beginning of the group to move from home/ school worries to the siblings session. The activities may also free a worker to do the tidying up and ensure that the session ends on time. Some groups like to finish with the same game each time and younger groups may join in with a goodbye song.
Before everyone leaves remember to go over what you have done and mention the plans for next time.
Ending the group
Ensure that the ending of the group is not a surprise to those attending it. This can be a very difficult experience for siblings who often have to deal with loss and separation.
You could mark the halfway stage of the group by re-capping on previous sessions or undertaking an evaluation activity e.g. graffiti wall.
An evaluation of the group by the siblings is essential. Go back to the target sheet that they completed individually at the start of the group and ask siblings to think how far they have progressed. As a group take part in an evaluation game.
In the final session ensure that group takes part in fun social activities to mark the end. These do not necessarily have to cost a lot of money or involve a trip out although siblings will benefit from taking part in an activity that they might not otherwise have the chance to do.
Awards ceremonies are very popular with siblings, the certificates and trophies they receive can be taken home and provide a good visual reminder of the sibling group.
The compliments that they receive during the ceremonies will be carried in their memories forever.
If possible help siblings retain their connection with the group through reunions, newsletters, or facilitating electronic contact between siblings. Encourage them to exchange contact details.
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