Supporting siblings in mainstream school

General guidelines

1. Help make all staff aware of the things that can make it difficult for siblings to enjoy their experience of school – bullying, lack of sleep (brother or sister may be up at night), damage to homework or school property by brother or sister, anxiety and concern for well being of brother or sister. Concentration may be affected and anxiety may make learning more difficult.  If parents are finding it hard to cope, this alone will have a negative impact on siblings.  Siblings involved in care at home may be too busy or too tired to do homework. 
   
2. Include siblings in the anti-bullying policy.  Siblings are often teased and bullied because their family is different.  Do not tolerate teasing about disability in school.
   
3. Make the school a welcome place for disabled children. The attitude of staff and pupils to disability will affect the way siblings feel about being at school.  A commitment to integration will give siblings the message that their brothers and sisters are valuable members of the community.
    
4. If their brother or sister is in the same school, ask siblings about how much responsibility or involvement in care they want to have.  Do not make assumptions about this.  Siblings' feelings about this vary greatly.  Some want to do lots to help, others just want to do their own thing and have nothing to do with their brother or sister.  Some siblings may worry about being rejected by peers if they get involved with their brother or sister at school.
    
5. Respect the individuality of each child.  Many siblings over-identify with their disabled brother or sister.  Always address siblings by their own name, not as 'Carla's brother', for example.
    
6. Regularly ask siblings how they are.  By regularly chatting about sibling issues, it helps the child feel comfortable about being able to talk about this at times when they are concerned or upset.  We suggest this is something you do on a one to one basis.  Many siblings do not want other classmates to know about their home life.  Key times for supporting a sibling are during the diagnosis of a disability or illness; when there has been a deterioration in the condition; when hospital care is needed; and if a brother or sister moves to another school.
   
7. If siblings are struggling to keep on top of academic work, help them develop  their potential in areas where they can feel good about themselves – art, sport, music, drama, etc.  Many siblings may not get any opportunities to develop interests outside of school as their parents are tied up with the care.  Some siblings may feel under enormous pressure to compensate academically for their brother or sister.  You may need to bring this up with parents.
    
8. Be sensitive to siblings' feelings when dealing with topics such as genetics, death and disability.  Genetics in particular will be both interesting and worrying at the same time.  Many young siblings will be wondering about whether it will be OK to have children of their own.
   
9. If a sibling's behaviour undergoes a sudden change, find out if that is in any way related to what is happening at home with their brother or sister.
    
10. Some siblings feel neglected emotionally as they see most of the attention from parents and professionals being directed at their brother or sister.  Giving some extra time and attention to siblings in school helps to redress the balance.

Specific interventions

Some things you could organise in school to support siblings.

1. Set up a club after school for siblings in your school. Meet for an hour or so after school once a month.  Have some snacks together, play a few games, and do one discussion activity about being a sibling.  You can use activities similar to what you might use in circle time or talk to our sibling group development officers about specific sibling discussion activities.
   
2. Get together with a member of staff from another school and put on a one off larger event for siblings from a few schools.  Do similar activities as above and maybe also show a short film about sibling issues such as 'We're the Sibs'? You could also invite along a doctor, nurse, psychologist or speech and language therapist to answer any questions about medical conditions, genetics, challenging behaviour or communication.
    
3. Get an interested group of siblings from one school together to do a project about siblings at school. The outcome may be to produce a newsletter, a short drama or video diary about being a sibling that they could present to the rest of the school.
   
4. Let a sibling in your class know that you are available at certain times if they want to have a chat about anything.  If you have a school counsellor make sure the family and the sibling get to know this person so that they feel comfortable about making contact at times of need.
   
5. Get some books on sibling issues – fiction and non fiction into the school library.  They will be of interest to other children too.
   
6. Find out if there is a local sibling group run by social services or by a voluntary organisation and let the family know about it.  Contact Sibs for information on local sibling groups.
    
7. Involve older siblings in meetings about issues that may affect their brother or sister – where appropriate and with permission first from parents and the child with special needs – particularly those which are about planning for the future.
    
8. Many siblings feel they want know more about the education programme'that their brother or sister is involved in.  For example a child with autism may be involved in the Teacch programme but the sibling has no idea what that is all about.  Give siblings the opportunity to learn more about a particular programme if they would like this.
   
9. Arrange regular meetings with the parent and sibling together, to discuss their school work and how to get homework done.  Some siblings may want to use a homework club if you have one. 
   
10. Let siblings know they cans contact Sibs for email support or information.