Little things mean a lot

Think back to a time like your birthday or other special occasion when someone who cares about you gave you a present that you didn’t like. They had really gone to a lot of trouble to get you something that ‘they thought’ was special but it turns out this is not your sort of thing at all. It was really something that they would like to be given as a present. It may have been a jumper that was not your style or a box of chocolates when you were on a diet. It was given with love and affection but just wasn’t the right thing for you.

Sometimes when we give children the gift of our time we do things that are special for us. You may like to be hugged but have a child who doesn’t like hugs. Every time you hug her you are expressing your love but your child may actually feel more loved when being listened to for example.

The sibling in your family will have his or her own way of feeling loved. Some children like to be able to play a short game with a parent, another may like to have a little note written daily, another may like to be able to sit on your knee, another may love to have some special food made for them…

Instead of putting lots of time into giving the wrong ‘gift of attention’ take some time to work out what little thing your child would like you to do for him or her every day. You will find that you need to invest less time and that it will feel more satisfying for both of you.

Try this

The first thing is to find out what is special to your child. Ask your son or daughter what little thing you can do each day to show that you really care. Or think about when some small gesture you made towards your child brought about a very positive response. Or just try something new. You will know you have got the right thing when your child face lights up when you suggest doing this special activity with them.

Once you know about those ‘little things that mean a lot’ make sure to do them regularly.